I've decided that we've had an Invasion of the Body Snatchers episode in our house. My son is the victim and his body has been stolen and replaced by one that
WANTS TO EAT MY ENTIRE HOUSE.
Ever since school got out, my thirteen year old is constantly eating.
Eating all morning.
Eating all afternoon.
Eating all evening.
On grocery shopping day, I want to throw myself in front of our newly stocked up fridge and yell at him, "Stay away, you beast!"
He's even been trying to eat my health food "diet" stash-that's pretty bad. Yesterday, after his fourth trip to the kitchen, I considered tripping him as he walked past my desk. Just kidding. Really.
It was bad enough when the first time that I realized that my little boy was growing up when I called home and this "twenty-something" sounding voice answered on the other end.
I was all like, WHO ARE YOU??
Crap. My boy is growing up too fast. Now, his body wants to catch up with his voice. (sigh)
I seriously wonder if we have to take out a second mortgage to feed this kid. I'm thinking about making one of those signs that you see people on the highway holding that say,
WILL WORK FOR FOOD-SERIOUSLY.