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Thursday, June 18, 2009

Body Snatching

I've decided that we've had an Invasion of the Body Snatchers episode in our house. My son is the victim and his body has been stolen and replaced by one that
WANTS TO EAT MY ENTIRE HOUSE.
Ever since school got out, my thirteen year old is constantly eating.
Eating all morning.
Eating all afternoon.
Eating all evening.
On grocery shopping day, I want to throw myself in front of our newly stocked up fridge and yell at him, "Stay away, you beast!"
He's even been trying to eat my health food "diet" stash-that's pretty bad. Yesterday, after his fourth trip to the kitchen, I considered tripping him as he walked past my desk. Just kidding. Really.
It was bad enough when the first time that I realized that my little boy was growing up when I called home and this "twenty-something" sounding voice answered on the other end.
I was all like, WHO ARE YOU??
Crap. My boy is growing up too fast. Now, his body wants to catch up with his voice. (sigh)
I seriously wonder if we have to take out a second mortgage to feed this kid. I'm thinking about making one of those signs that you see people on the highway holding that say,
WILL WORK FOR FOOD-SERIOUSLY.

17 comments:

Miss Behavin said...

OMG...I just went through the same thing with my 18 year old who was home visiting. I wrote a post about it titled, "Down with OCD..."

Too Many Hats said...

I have your son's twin - 13 and ravenous. It is crazy the way he chows down. The good part is he has no picky bone left in his body. I could probably serve fried grasshoppers and he would not complain and come back for seconds. What I am scared about is that I also have a 12 year old boy right on his heels - talk about a financial crisis.

Molly said...

Same with my 14 yr old. He has yet to change his voice mail on his cell phone, I sometimes call it just to hear my baby...with the kid voice.

Buckeroomama said...

Still quite a few more years before we'll hit that stage... I guess we better save up!

(Tell us more about the Flat Belly Diet. You have me intrigued!)

Morgan said...

My sons are only 4 and 5, but they want to eat non-stop all of a sudden. Although, my 2 year old daughter is the same way.

With as much as they want to eat now, I can't imagine what it's going to be like when my sons hit 13!

Do you miss the preschool years, or do you enjoy it more now that he's older?

Native American Momma said...

OMG My hubby used to eat dinner at his house and two other friends homes making 3 dinners like 5 times a week when he was in high school.

Doré said...

I can't imagine how it feels knowing your baby is turning into a man! Just the thought of Brayden turning 2 next month brings a tear to my eye!

Veronica Lee said...

I have your son's twin too!! Luckily for me, his younger brother seems to hate food. Maybe it's too soon to tell!!

Annette Piper said...

Oh dear - that's just around the corner for me. My boy is 11 - maybe I should start stocking up now!?

Creative Junkie said...

ROTF! I've heard that boys will eat you out of house and home. My girlfriend has five sons - I think she's going to have to take out a home equity loan soon just to pay their grocery bill.

Tess said...

Morgan-I totally miss his preschool years! He was so lovable and now he's like, 'Whatever. Grunt. Argh.' Who understands teenage language?

Tess said...

Buckaroomama-I will post something about it!

Christina said...

Mine haven't hit this stage just yet. All I can say is maybe it's time to start buying in bulk.

blueviolet said...

I'm afraid that doesn't stop from here on out. My son is 18 and it's like every meal is his final meal. It's outrageous.

Hit 40 said...

My food bill has also seriously gone up this summer. My 14 year and 11 year old have decided food is good!

I used to be able to split a chicken nugget happy meal between the 2 of them. And.. they still didn't eat it all.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Princess Nagger is only 6 - but is apparently going through a growth spurt...she's hungry (and eating) All. the. time. My bi-monthly grocery shopping isn't going to last the 2+ weeks at a time at this rate... ;)

Kristen Andrews said...

mine isn't doing that yet, he wastes food I wish I could send you the stuff I make and he won't eat!