It's funny how you don't notice your children growing up until something hits you on the head like a ton of bricks, like your oldest having a baby. Then, she wants to move out and then she only seems to call if she needs money or a babysitter. I realized that she didn't need me to smother her with my over protectiveness. Then once that has been brought to your attention, you start to notice that your other children are hitting some milestones that must of happened when you were busy feeling sorry for yourself. For example, I pick my son (who is twelve) from school every day and have been for years. I park across the street and down the block to avoid the crazy parents-picking-up-their-kids traffic and then walk up the path to meet him. He informed me the other day that he was old enough to walk to the car by himself and how embarrassing it was for me to have to walk him to the car. SO, PLEASE, WOULD YOU WAIT IN THE CAR? I replied by telling him that there were too many crazy people out there and even though it was a nice neighborhood, he could still get stolen and I wouldn't know it.
He just rolled his eyes and everyday he would ask me again to please wait for him in the car. I began to answer, "Fine." But when it came down to actually doing it, I chicken out and would still meet him up the pathway. Then when he would come out, he would just shake his head and walk past me like I didn't exist.
Yesterday, when it was time to pick him up, I decided to wait on a bench that was some yards away that I could see him but he wouldn't really see me. When he got out of school and I could see him walking up the sidewalk and not seeing me, I could see a look of relief on his face. Then, somehow he noticed me and down went the shoulders and head. I know, I'm a dork. I'm just not ready to let another one of my kids get too big to need their mom to protect them a bit too much.
Or maybe I'll try again today- I wouldn't put any bets on it though.