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Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Exorcist

Sometimes don't you wish that you could jump into your child's head and see what they are thinking or why they do what they do? I wish I could have done that the other night to understand why my four year old decided to act the way she did. Then, maybe I would not of wanted to hang her by her toes from our front tree and drip water on her forehead until she promised to never act that way again.

I had potential clients over for an interview and the last couple of times I've had people over, Emily was very nice and cute and they just wanted to eat her up, she was so entertaining. So, when big sister offered to take her over to her house while they were here, I declined with a smile.

Well. I wished that I had taken her up on her offer because SHE WAS HORRIBLE. I would've sworn that my child was possessed by the devil and was waiting for her head to spin. She would not listen to me and kept pulling on me and was even saying mean things to them. I was secretly wishing that the couch would swallow me up and when I got out they would be gone and we could both pretend that we had never met and all would be good. I even thought about not claiming her as my own creation and that I was just watching my neighbor's child and that she was due back to the zoo by midnight.

It was probably the longest hour of my life and I was hoping they didn't catch my YOU BETTER KNOW THAT YOU ARE ONLY GETTING COAL FOR NEXT CHRISTMAS look. When we were done (thank God), I thanked them (for putting up with the demon child) and watched them try to get out of my house quicker then a live turkey at Thanksgiving time. After hearing tires squealing out of the driveway, I slowly turned around to my precious little angel and without even yelling, I asked her why she behaved so badly? Maybe it was the look on my face or maybe NOT yelling freaked her out but all she did was start crying and saying that I hated her. Okay. Now I KNOW that she was taken over by some crazy alien and I was going to the mother ship to get my baby back.

The rest of the night, I just remained calm with her which to my surprise worked for me. She kept asking me if I was mad at her and I said pretty much and this was just devastating to her. I think she prefered that I yelled at her and send her to her room so she could work on her drama queen acting abilities for her future career as an actress.

When it was time to go to bed, she went without a fight and I thought, hmmm. I think she actually feels bad for being a brat. Then, in the middle of the night I felt a tug on my arm and a little voice whispering in my ear saying, "Mommy, do you love me now?" Argggh. (heart breaking) How do they manage to make US feel bad when they were bad?


eight helping hands said...

My belief is that they're all aliens. :-) And yes, they do know how to make you feel bad, when they are the ones who act up. I hope you get the job...

Retro Heather said...

OMG! How did you stand it?

Kids are so unpredictable. And my oldest is two. I've got all this wonderful stuff ahead of me!

Helene said...

So that's the trick?? See, I always lose it and start yelling at them, which I definitely need to work on!! I think I'll try the "calm route" and see if that works with mine!

Isn't it amazing how they end up making us feel bad after they've behaved so mischievously? Then we're apologizing to them and begging for forgiveness? How does that work?

Chris said...

The not yelling thing works on my youngest. He hates to think mommy is mad at him.

Connie said...

Guilt works on my daughter. I learned that because it worked on me too. You see, we're a "guilt" family. I don't know if it's healthy or not, but I survived!

Creative Junkie said...

I swear, occasionally monsters come into my house and suck up my child for awhile and then leave. I can't explain it otherwise.

Yelling pretty much works for my youngest, but my eldest? Yelling does nothing. But if I act disappointed with her? That makes all the difference - she is crushed.

Annette Piper said...

Oh dear. Mine do that sometimes - they just get a bee in their bonnet about you ignoring them (even if they know that's not really happening). Definitely take the babysitting offer next time!

Paula Constable said...

Oh yes, the guilt. That's tough. I hate it. I try not to yell-I have my days, too!